Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It hurts

I know this may sound bizarre to alot of women who may not be part of the military life. It may sound bizarre to those that are married to the military too.

It hurts when he calls.

Yes, I am grateful.

Yes I am happy he is safe and in sound mind.

Yes I am happy he tells me he loves us and misses us and wants to come home.

But everytime he calls it is another reminder that he isn't coming home for a while. It hurts to know that it isn't just another day at work. Its a year long seperation not by choice. Hearing him with a 5 sec delay and then having him leave to tend to an emergency only makes my fears surface.

He calls in the morning almost every other day. Yes, I know I should count my blessings but it brings the reality to the forefront.

I cope by being in denial. I cope by thinking he is just off in training and not off to war. When he calls my auto pilot gets turned off. I stop being in denial and have to face the true emotions of war.

Lets pray he never stops calling....


boylerpf said...

Oh, prayers are for you and many more phone calls to come. The biggest one is for his safety...send him a huge thank you from my family.

geekch1ck said...

Oh, sweetie. I'm praying for you and your husband. And, it's ok to feel that hurt. *Hugs*

Chrisy said...

A hug to you from Australia...

Bee and Rose said...

You are one strong woman:)
I am sending you lots of well wishes for continued phone calls and his safe return:)

Please tell him how very much we appreciate what he is doing!

Thank you so much for visiting my blog! I'm so happy you found me so I could find you back! I love your blog!

Hope you don't mind me hanging around!

cinnamonspice said...

Sending you prayers and happy thoughts until your hubby comes home again...he's blessed to have such a woman of strength!