I know this may sound bizarre to alot of women who may not be part of the military life. It may sound bizarre to those that are married to the military too.
It hurts when he calls.
Yes, I am grateful.
Yes I am happy he is safe and in sound mind.
Yes I am happy he tells me he loves us and misses us and wants to come home.
But everytime he calls it is another reminder that he isn't coming home for a while. It hurts to know that it isn't just another day at work. Its a year long seperation not by choice. Hearing him with a 5 sec delay and then having him leave to tend to an emergency only makes my fears surface.
He calls in the morning almost every other day. Yes, I know I should count my blessings but it brings the reality to the forefront.
I cope by being in denial. I cope by thinking he is just off in training and not off to war. When he calls my auto pilot gets turned off. I stop being in denial and have to face the true emotions of war.
Lets pray he never stops calling....
It hurts when he calls.
Yes, I am grateful.
Yes I am happy he is safe and in sound mind.
Yes I am happy he tells me he loves us and misses us and wants to come home.
But everytime he calls it is another reminder that he isn't coming home for a while. It hurts to know that it isn't just another day at work. Its a year long seperation not by choice. Hearing him with a 5 sec delay and then having him leave to tend to an emergency only makes my fears surface.
He calls in the morning almost every other day. Yes, I know I should count my blessings but it brings the reality to the forefront.
I cope by being in denial. I cope by thinking he is just off in training and not off to war. When he calls my auto pilot gets turned off. I stop being in denial and have to face the true emotions of war.
Lets pray he never stops calling....
