It hurts

I know this may sound bizarre to alot of women who may not be part of the military life. It may sound bizarre to those that are married to the military too.

It hurts when he calls.

Yes, I am grateful.

Yes I am happy he is safe and in sound mind.

Yes I am happy he tells me he loves us and misses us and wants to come home.

But everytime he calls it is another reminder that he isn't coming home for a while. It hurts to know that it isn't just another day at work. Its a year long seperation not by choice. Hearing him with a 5 sec delay and then having him leave to tend to an emergency only makes my fears surface.

He calls in the morning almost every other day. Yes, I know I should count my blessings but it brings the reality to the forefront.

I cope by being in denial. I cope by thinking he is just off in training and not off to war. When he calls my auto pilot gets turned off. I stop being in denial and have to face the true emotions of war.


Lets pray he never stops calling....

1/2 my heart...

Half my heart is leaving. How can it be so?

Yes, I knew what I was "getting in to". But that doesn't make leaving any easier.

As the troop surge in Afghanistan begins, so does my heartache.

My darling daughter is turning 1 year in a few days. Imagine a whole year of her life missed. She loves her daddy so much and he regretfully is being take away to help another country establish peace.

Its tough times in this house as we prepare to takeoff in our first deployment. Anxiety is high; tears keep flowing; anger and frustration are also thrown into the mix.

Just keep all troops in your minds. 4,000 families from our brigade are going to be deploying. I can't fathom how many solider's family & friends are saddened by this deployment.

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