Thursday, May 7, 2009

Looking back...

It has been one very wild ride this past year. I can't believe where I have come from in such a short period of time.

May was a turning point in my life. An end of old ways and the beginning of new ones.

I had just had my first daughter in Feb. I moved back home with my parents while Scott was in BOLC II and III and then Airborne. He was never in one place long enough that the Army would pay to move us, so we went 5 months without living together.

May was the month that would bring him back into our lives for awhile. May also was when I formally announced I would not return to work after my maternity leave was over. I decided not to go back to the world of counseling drug addicts and the mentally ill. It was not a tough choice, as how could I help others when we were preparing to move across the country! After never living more than 10 minutes from my parents house, even all through college- I was preparing to move across the North America with my newborn and two cats.

Moving to Alaska was the best trip we every had! We drove about 6 hours a day and stopped to view the sights. It took two weeks, and it was wonderful! Even with a teething baby and two cats mewing the whole time! Scott and I got to reconnect after 5 months, and having a baby without him. It was awesome. I will have to blog about that trip and show off the magnificent photos.

Scott and I arrived to Anchorage and he started making his way back into Army life and his new career. Long hours were something new to me. He was working 16-18 hour days and hardly home. I was stuck in Alaska without friends and family, all alone. That truly is tough. I forced myself to make friends and these friendships will last a lifetime! After making friends, I was no longer longly and homesick.

Soon summer ended and made way to fall. Fall in Alaska is tough. The days are dark and long. It is very sad and depressing. To make matters worse, Scott had to leave for NTC for another month to prepare for deployment which was fast approaching.

It was during the fall that I really kick started myself to sew & crochet and make more out of my hobby. I started selling at craft shows and online. This gave me some purpose. I am a busy body and staying at home with my daughter- while wonderful -- was keeping me in idle. Since I couldn't go back to school, making a business is what I started to do.

Scott came back from NTC on Thanksgiving. The rest of the year was a whirlwind of holidays, birthday parties and then the dreaded deployment. The tears, the goodbyes, the anxiety, the irritable husband, the irrational wife, the lack of cuddles and love. The mental seperation before the deployment. The fears.

I underestimated myself. I honestly thought I was going to be sooo depressed. So sad that I would be moving my butt back to Maryland. That so far has not happened. Three months in, i am still going strong. Thanks in part to my deployment buddies and literally keeping myself involved in as many volunteer and business endeavors as possible. I am more than thriving, I am surviving this deployment.

This past year, I think I have shown incredible strength through all the life changes we have gone through as a family. This is my way of patting myself on the back. Everytime I thought something would break me, it didn't. I know now that my marriage can survive my husband being gone more months out of the year than not. Heck, I didn't think I could survive childbirth and the first few months of her life without him. The move to Alaska scared me half to death to loose all my support system due to distance. My niave thoughts are no more. I have grown so much and am grateful to have learned so very much about myself this past year.


Alicia @ boylerpf said...

Fantastic post...I am SOOOO proud of you..even though I only know you through blogland! Doing the things you have done on your own and making them work says quite a lot about your character...which btw, is stellar. Your thinking outside the box is what makes a person better for all the trials that are to come...making them victories and not defeats. Way to go!!

NODtoMOD said...

that is soo cool! what is a better way to reconnect than to do a roadtrip with your new family! i would love to see the sites...roadtrips are awesome! congrats on not going back....great idea!;)

Julia said...

What a strong character you have! Your parents, even though they must miss you terribly, must be so proud of you. See, I look at things from the parent/grandparent side of things. Our daughters live far away from us, and it is hard. However we are proud of our girls and the great job they are doing with their parenting. It's hard enough to be so far from home, but to be alone in a new place! wow! From what I've learned about you through this blog is that you are very resourceful and creative. You are such a friendly person that it doesn't surprise me that you were able to make friends quickly. Thank goodness for your support system.

kel said...

What an amazing year. I love the stuff you make! I'm jealous of your talent!